My Immortal
by Himizu and Kurotamashii
Summary: This is a songfic about Bella and Edward during their New Moon separation. It is based on Evanescene's My Immortal.


A/N--- This is a song fic from the song "My Immortal" by Evanescence. I was listening to it, and I'm like, omg. It's just like Edward and Bella!!!

This takes place during New Moon  during the time that Edward and Bella were apart.

_Bella's POV_

"Why am I always o afraid of everything. I'm afraid of so many childish things. I'm even afraid of my thoughts. If Charlie or Mike or Jessica knew about how I'm feeling right now- if they shared even one hundredth of the pain I feel right now… they would die. I refuse to sleep. HE doesn't sleep. If I sleep. I might have dreams. I threw away all my favorite books. Dracula. Vampire Kisses. Blood Line. They all remind me of him. I won't watch tv. Too many… monster movies. He loved music, so I crushed my cd's.

"But even though all evidence of him is gone, I can still feel him. It's like he is standnig right beside me, but not talking. I can't reach over and grab his marble hand, I can't feel him. If he had to leave, I wish he would at least take his very presence.

"But the hole in my heart WON'T heal. It can't. The shrink I had to go to said that the pin is all in my head, but he's wrong. This pain is real. It's like someone stabbed me through the heart, and I just want to go ahead and die, but won't. He said I would forget about him, but I can't. Time can't erase him."

I looked at the page of writing and ripped it out. Then, on a lark, I stuck it in the Cullen's mailbox. I knew they wouldn't find it, but I put it there anyway.

_Alice's POV_

We were having our mail forwarded to Denali. About a month after we left Forks, I went out to check the mail. There was a letter in there, but it was just a folded piece of paper, with our Forks address on it. I unfolded the paper and read what someone had written The paper was stained with tears, and it was Bella's handwriting.

Oh my gosh. I knew she would be sad, but I never though she would feel like THAT! Edward had to know how she felt. I pulled out my cell phone and dialed his number.

"What is it, Alice?" He asked in a dead monotone into the phone.

"Edward," I said carefully, "We just got a letter. I think you need to see it."

He sighed heavily. "Ok, Alice. Read it to me."

"No, Edward. You can't just hear this. You need to see it. Get over here and check it out. ASAP."

"Whatever," he droned, and hung up the phone. I stared at it for a moment, the sat down heavily on a rock beside me.

_Edward's POV_

The call from Aice worried me, but it's impossibl for me to worry about something as trite as that. I had no emotion left to spare. But Alice was, essentially, my sister, so I turned around and went back to Denali.

I was NOT expecting what was in the letter. I had thought that it would be someone telling me that Jasper killed someone, or that the hospital in Forks wanted Carlilse back. But not this. Not Bella. I read the letter silently, and then went to find the piano. Music always calmed me.

First, I started to play the few songs I had memorized. MY hands flew across the keys like second nature, but when I heard the music, I paused. No. I couldn't play this song. IT hurt too much. I tried to play Esme's favorite song, but my heart wasn't in it.

My fingers flew to less familiar notes. Bella's words sprung into my head, and I started to write.

"I'm so tired of being here. Suppressed by all my childish fears," I sang under my breath. "And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave,'Cause your presence still lingers here. And it won't leave me alone. These wounds won't seem to heal. This pain is just too real. There's just too much that time cannot erase." I found that writing music didn't hurt as much as usual.

That night, I sat outside, on the roof. "Dreaming", or as close as I could get to it. I thought of the times that she cried. All those times, I loved her. I wiped away her tears and held her until she stopped crying and felt better. I remembered the alley that night in Port Angeles, when those men were going for her. I remembered when we ran from James, how she screamed. I was always there to fight away what she was afraid of. A shock passed through me. What if something bad happened?! What is I wasn't there to save her? Then, I thought of how, at school, we never let go of each other's hands. Her smile, her laugh. I told her that I didn't want her. That was a lie. She will always have every bit of my heart.

_Jasper's POV_

Not long after Edward came back, I found a piece of paper laying on the ground. It was a song. Usually, Edward's songs are just instrumental, for piano. This song had lyrics. I read it.

I'm so tired of being here

Suppressed by all my childish fears

And if you have to leave

I wish that you would just leave

'Cause your presence still lingers here

And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

Chorus:

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

And I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have

All of me

Oh. The moment I read this, I knew exactly what the song meant. Of course, we all missed Bella, but Edward was acting like… well… me when I though Alice was gone, so long ago.

I photocopied the song and called a family meeting with everyone except Edward.

"Ok," I said, standing at the head of the table. "Read this. Edward has been writing this since he got back. What should we do?"

"What do you mean?" asked Emmett, confused.

Alice looked to me, then turned to Emmett. "He means, Edward misses Bella so much that he might just go to the Volturi soon."

Rosalie raised her hand. "Um, I have a question." When she knew that she had everyone's attention, she continued. "Why should we care about Bella? I mean, she's just a stupid girl who got in way over her head."

Esme looked at her reproachfully. "Rose. This isn't about Bella. It's about Edward. Imagine if you had to leave Emmett forever. How would you feel?"

Rosalie sneered. "I would never have to leave him."

"Hypothetically, Rose," prodded Carlilse.

She looked at her hands, foleded in her lap. "I guess… I'd want to die."


End file.
